By: Candi Young
It’s February, and with V-day (or for some, D-day) looming just around the corner, you might find yourself sans date. Maybe you’ve entertained the thought of looking online for a temporary fix, or if you’re more serious, someone to share your life with. Why not, right? It’s convenient, easy, discreet, and best of all if you happen to fudge your description to sound a tad more enticing, it’ll be your little secret. If you have ever tried online dating, you may find there are an entirely new set of rules to go along with traditional ones. I decided to check with a good friend of mine, who is currently seeking that special someone, to see how the online dating scene was going. We’ll call her Jane to maintain her privacy. She had a lot of great tips to offer that might be helpful for those of you that are hopeful out there.
In Jane’s experience, she has found that there really are people who tend to “stretch the truth,” especially about their appearance and age. She also advises that the picture they post may be misleading. Some of the more clever dates have showed up to meet Jane “10-15 years older” then the picture posted online. Another good tip is to keep all of your personal information private until you really get to know someone well, “such as the fact that you live alone,” if you do. “Always meet in a public place and tell a “safe person” who you are meeting and where.” It’s a good idea to keep that “safe person” informed of when you are home after the date too. I always joke with her to text me his license plate and social security number if she gets a chance, because really you cannot be too careful these days.
Now if your potential suitor’s first question to you is “What are you wearing [right now]?” and you aren’t into that, then beware of their true intentions. Unfortunately, Jane has found that “plenty of people will lie about being married or in a relationship” if they are unhappy at home. She cautions that if they forget to give you their cell phone number, ask to meet at odd hours and/or “ignore you on the weekends,” then they probably have a spouse/significant other.
Occasionally you might have an out of the ordinary date come along. The most outrageous experience Jane recalls happened a few months back when she broke one of her rules and allowed a gentleman to pick her up at her house for a date. She had been talking to him for three months and felt comfortable enough. So she put on her new outfit, carefully applied makeup—each strand of hair in place—but instead of a bouquet of roses, he had the nerve to show up with a basket full of dirty laundry! Yes, this was the beginning of their first date! He actually asked her if it was okay if he started his laundry while they went out…
Despite these minor setbacks, Jane has had good dates as well and remains hopeful. She wants all of you that venture down the online dating avenue to remember that it’s only online dating. If he/she loses interest for whatever reason, “don’t take the feeling of rejection to heart. There are plenty of men [and women] out there that will think you are wonderful” and plenty will want to give you a chance. Just remember to stay safe. “If you feel uncomfortable, [or he shows up and asks to do laundry] listen to your instincts and leave,” or avoid the situation altogether.