By: Candi Young
Living with roommates can be quite the challenge, especially if you happen to be the neat and orderly type and your roommate(s) are the disheveled messy type. Not only do you have to put up with your roommate’s quirks, but all of the sudden you look around and notice an extra TV here and strange clothes in the washer there. You think to yourself, “this week James has been here 6 out of 7 days…. What is going on??”
Many agree the hardest thing to put up with is the “interference of personal space and use of community rooms.” Not only are you sharing your TV and living room with someone who doesn’t help with the cable bill, but you are now paying their utilities when they wash their clothes/dishes. When you need to do laundry only to find the washer and dryer are preoccupied by someone who isn’t supposed to be there in the first place—it’s highly irritating.
So, they’re aggravating for invading your personal space, but what to do if you genuinely don’t like them? Although your roommate might think they are the greatest thing since the invention of ice cream, others may not see the fabulous side of this new home invader. But your roommate does; so, in the interest of keeping the friendship, keep your opinions to yourself unless the roommate has passed the threshold of annoying you and moved onto a much graver platform.
The last thing you want is to pay for a home that you now feel uncomfortable living in. When asked how they handled the situation, one suggestion was to “whine and whine and… [complain] until they figure out they don’t [technically] live there.” For example, you could loudly exclaim, “Crap… I knew there was milk in here last night!!!” Or, “Who the CRAP parked in my spot but doesn’t pay rent for a spot!?!?” You could very well take the less confrontational approach all the while trying to make the person feel uncomfortable for being there.” In some situations, this may work and the interloper might get the hint. But, if they are brave enough to nonchalantly move in, then it may take more then whining to make them feel uncomfortable; them being the person who allowed the unsolicited guest as well as the unsolicited.
So what is the best way to handle this situation? While it may cause anxiety trying to figure out how to bring it up, talking to your roommates about any problem will likely go a long way and save lots of headaches if you are upfront and honest about how you feel in the beginning. Many people simply are not mind readers. If you never speak up, everything they do will start to add to your dislike of the situation and could cause a big blowout. Also, if you are the one who is allowing your “friend” to live there, why not talk to your roommate[s] about it before you actually help move your guest in? Many times your roommate[s] will be understanding of the situation, you can work out a deal, split the bills up and most importantly the friendship will have a better chance to survive. So if you find yourself in a sticky living situation and it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to speak up! If they are truly a friend they will understand, listen to your concerns and be willing to work out a compromise.
Thanks to everyone who wished to remain anonymous for the input! Any questions/comments? E-mail me: cly.mweekly@gmail.com